The wrong way to approach someone at a lifestyle club, and other faux pas
- 9 hours ago
- 5 min read
Back in November, Billy and I had the opportunity to stay at the popular lifestyle resort, Secrets Hideaway in Kissimmee, FL (review coming soon!). We had a fantastic time, and I’ll dive into those details in another post, but there was one incident that really gave us the ick—it's what inspired this post. Here’s the scoop.
On the first night of our two-night resort experience, we could barely contain our excitement and nerves as we meandered down to the pool and hot tub area. It was too chilly for a dip in the pool, but both hot tubs were filled with bodies - some naked, some in swimming attire, all sexually charged. Sensing fresh meat, a dark-haired petite woman in the hot tub quickly became chatty with us, asking if she could sit next to us and if touching was okay. We smiled and agreed a little touching and flirting is fine with us. Neither Billy nor I were interested in playing in that moment, but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy some friendly touch. Meanwhile, across the hot tub, a young busty woman was engaging with our new friend's partner.
After a good soak in the hot tub, we excused ourselves to walk around the lifestyle club and see what else was happening. One of the perks of Secrets is that each guest room has large windows so it's very easy to see what's going on inside. Some people keep their doors open and invite passers-by to come in, others just leave the blinds open so anyone can peek at the naughty things going on inside. You can also easily have privacy if that's not your thing. We didn’t end up playing with anyone that night, but what happened next would unfold on our second night.
Navigating the public playroom at a lifestyle club
Secrets has one main public playroom, where everyone must be fully naked to enter. It was kind of annoying to take our clothes of and stuff them into a locker before we could see what was going on, but rules are rules and we don't mind being nude! Just earlier in the evening, we had chatted up a very good-looking couple who we were interested in getting to know better. I told Billy that the male half of the couple was a "fuck yes" for me. That's basically our barometer for whether or not we will play with someone. It's pretty easy to stick to if you put it that way. We let the couple know we’d be in the public playroom and eagerly hoped they’d join us for a little exhibitionism.
We saw an empty space among several pushed together couches in the center of the room. The place was filled with bodies. Several were in action, and many more were wrapped in towels and taking in the sensory buffet. Billy threw me on my back and took my legs over his shoulders, our favorite go-to position, and while things were really starting to heat up, we couldn't help but notice a strong presence.
The lady who was getting touchy feely in the hot tub the night before was standing just inches from us with her partner. And I mean just inches away, it was like they were hovering over us. Now, we enjoyed the sounds of affirmation escaping their lips, the "oh yeahs" and the "uh-huhs," but it felt like an invasion of our personal space, and an odd way to get an invite.
You might be thinking, what invasion of space? How can you expect personal space when you're at a sex club, in a public playroom? Because everyone has the right to feel safe and to have the space they need to do so. This was less about safety and more about being totally turned off by an aggressive couple who didn't get the green light from us. Billy and I both knew this wasn't a couple we were interested in playing with, so it was an awkward for us to continue while they were practically on top of us. We kept our eye contact and laser focus on each other so that we didn't give the couple any indication that we were game for them to join. After several minutes, that felt like an eternity, the couple finally moved across the room and had a seat on a bed to watch. We continued for a bit longer and then hauled out of there. It just really felt like the wrong way to do things.
Avoiding common lifestyle pitfalls
We'd seen the couple earlier in the night, so I think if they wanted to play with us, they should have struck up a conversation and asked us after chatting for awhile. It really gave us the ick. So what are some other lifestyle faux pas? Read on to get a better understanding of what is not okay in the lifestyle.
Lack of Communication
Failing to Discuss Boundaries: Always communicate your boundaries and preferences clearly with your partner and other participants.
Not Checking In: Regularly check in with your partner and others involved to ensure everyone feels comfortable throughout the experience.
2. Disregarding Consent
Ignoring Consent: Consent is paramount. Never assume that someone is okay with something without asking first.
Pressuring Others: Don’t pressure anyone into participating in activities they’re not comfortable with.
3. Bringing Jealousy into the Mix
Allowing Jealousy to Fester: Address any feelings of jealousy openly and honestly instead of letting them build up.
Making Comparisons: Avoid comparing experiences or partners; every encounter is unique.
4. Inappropriate Behavior
Being Rude or Disrespectful: Treat everyone with respect; negative attitudes can ruin the atmosphere.
Overindulging: Whether it’s alcohol or attention, moderation is key. Don’t overdo it to the point where you lose control.
5. Neglecting Hygiene
Poor Personal Hygiene: Always prioritize cleanliness; this shows respect for yourself and others.
Ignoring Safe Practices: Use protection and practice safe sex to ensure everyone’s health and safety.
6. Not Following the Rules of the Venue
Ignoring Venue Guidelines: Different clubs or events have their own rules; be sure to familiarize yourself and adhere to them.
Disrupting the Environment: Be mindful of the atmosphere and avoid behaviors that could disturb others.
7. Not Respecting Privacy
Sharing Personal Information: Keep the details of your encounters private unless everyone involved agrees to share.
Taking Photos or Videos Without Permission: Always ask for consent before capturing any moments.
8. Being Overly Competitive
Trying to One-Up Others: It’s not a competition; focus on enjoying the experience rather than trying to outdo someone else.
Bragging: Avoid boasting about past encounters or experiences, as this can make others uncomfortable.
9. Assuming Everyone Is Open to the Same Things
Making Assumptions: Don’t assume that everyone shares the same interests or desires; always ask before proceeding.
Forgetting Individual Preferences: Remember that each person has unique preferences; respect those differences.
10. Failing to Have Fun
Taking Things Too Seriously: Remember that the lifestyle is about enjoyment. Don’t let nerves or pressure overshadow the fun.
By being mindful of these common faux pas, you can help create a respectful and enjoyable environment for everyone involved. If you have any questions or need more specifics, feel free to ask!
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